I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
