I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
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He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
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Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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