More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
