just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
