I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Randomize