so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
