no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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