Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
