Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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