Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
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We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
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Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize