Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
