I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
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