Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
my god I love twenty year old dicks
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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