....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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