At least make sure they are 18
Why
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
