Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
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we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
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Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize