i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
