I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
