Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
