omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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