based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize