A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize