I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
