he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
