it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
