I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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