I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
