3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
