Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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