WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I had to cum in my sink.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
