im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
