I hate your face
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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