It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
