oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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