1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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