Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
