I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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