Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize