its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
