In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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