ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
