ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
and you fell through a lawn chair
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
