when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
