Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
