Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
