So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
