dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
