Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
