Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
