i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
