I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
