we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize