To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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