3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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