And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
