I am in a vortex of obligation.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
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