Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
