Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
