I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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