loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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