I wish my penis had an off switch
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Randomize
